Hello.  I'm Dr. Kyle Good, and I'm cooking up a recipe for holiday stress relief.  These ingredients will take pounds off of your holiday stress.   Do more than just survive this holiday season. 

Make a Plan
Your first line of defense from holiday stress is to think about what it is about the season that has felt so stressful in the past. 

Do you always have a conflict with your spouse about whose family to see, or a conflict with the family once you all get together? Do you end up working on your holiday card list up until the last moment, agonizing over what to write, or trying to weigh whether you should send them late or at all? Do you end up spending too much?

If you can make specific plans to better handle these situations, you'll be less stressed when you face them. For example, making a spending plan and sticking to it can eliminate much of the stress that comes with holiday shopping, making the whole season and the following months less stressful.

Just Say No
Next, you should cut out unnecessary activities. That means anything that doesn't provide an emotional payoff that far outweighs its hassle should be crossed off the calendar.

You don't need to try every activity offered, go to every party thrown, or do everything the 'Martha Stewart' way in order to make your holiday special.

Really enjoying the things that you do end up doing is what will make the holiday something you'll want to remember.

Simplify
Our society has certain expectations about what makes the season special. The good thing is that most of the activities we associate with this time of year are fun. However, it's easy to become so overwhelmed by all this activity that we become too busy to actually enjoy what we're doing.

For those activities that are important enough that you'd really miss them if you didn't include them in your celebrations there are ways to cut corners or otherwise simplify the experience without sacrificing what makes these activities fun.

Trying a simplified version frees up your energy so you can do more, or enjoy more of what you're doing.

Cut Corners
If you can’t fathom the idea of skipping out on sending cards, baking, seeing people, and doing all of the stuff that usually runs you ragged, you may do better including all of these activities in your schedule, but on a smaller scale.

Send cards, for example, but only to those with whom you maintain regular communication. Or, don’t include a personal note or letter in each one. Find a way to simplify.

The same goes for the baking -- will anyone be enraged if you buy baked goods from the bakery instead? If you find ways to cut corners or tone down the activities that are important to you and your family, you may enjoy them much more.

Change Your Expectations For Togetherness
With family and friends, it’s important to be aware of your limitations. Think back to previous years and try to pinpoint how much togetherness you and your family can take before feeling negative stress.

Can you limit the number of parties you attend or throw, or the time you spend at each? Can you limit your time with family to a smaller timeframe that will still feel special and joyous, without draining you?

Also, when dealing with difficult relatives, it’s okay to set limits on what you are and are not willing to do, including forgoing your visits or limiting them to every other year.

For those who experience loneliness during the holidays, consider inviting a group of friends to your home. If virtually everyone you know is with family during the holidays, you might consider volunteering to help those less fortunate than yourself. Many people report these experiences to be extremely fulfilling, and your focus will be on what you have rather than what you lack.

Set A Schedule
Putting your plans on paper can show you, in black and white, how realistic they are. If you find a time management planner and fill in the hours with your scheduled activities, being realistic and including driving time and down time, you will be able to see if you’re trying to pack in too much.

Start with your highest priorities, so you will be able to eliminate the less important activities. Be sure to schedule in some time to take a walk in nature each day if at all possible, as exercise and exposure to daylight can drastically reduce or even eliminate the symptoms of SAD. (If climate or other factors prohibit this, try to find some time to sit by a window and look out; several minutes of exposure to natural light, even if through a window pane, can help.)

Breathe!
This sounds like a no-brainer, but sometimes we forget to take deep breaths and really give our bodies the oxygen we need.

It's great if you can take ten minutes by yourself to do a breathing meditation, but merely stopping to take a few deep, cleansing breaths can reduce your level of negative stress in a matter of minutes, too. If you visualize that you are breathing in serenity and breathing out stress, you will find the positive effects of this exercise to be even more pronounced.

With a little planning and a few minor but significant changes, this holiday season can bring the love and joy it was meant to bring, and leave you feeling fulfilled rather than drained.

I'd love to hear about how you're dealing with holiday stress.  Feel free to email me your successes and challenges at DrKyle@DrKyle.org .  I enjoy hearing about both the good and the not-so-good.
- Dr. Kyle Good